The first step towards forgiveness is to forget.
Hazrat Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan
Related Material by Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan
Compiled by Wahiduddin Richard Shelquist – wahiduddin.net
In order to learn forgiveness we must learn tolerance first. And there are people whom we cannot forgive. It is not that we must not forgive, but it is difficult, beyond our power to forgive, and in that case the first thing we can do is to forget. The first step towards forgiveness is to forget.
They say, ‘Forgive and forget’, which is very expressive of the process of forgiveness. It is impossible to forgive unless you can forget. What keeps us from forgiving our fellow beings is that we hold the fault of another constantly before our view. It is just like sticking a little thorn in one’s own heart and keeping it there and suffering the pain. It may also be pictured as putting a drop of poison in one’s own heart and retaining it until the whole heart becomes poisoned. Verily, blessed are the innocent, who do not notice anybody’s fault, and the greater credit is to the mature souls, who, recognizing a fault, forget it and so forgive. How true are the words of Christ, ‘Let those throw a stone who have not sinned.’ The limitations of human life make us subject to faults. Some have more faults, some have less, but there is no soul without faults. As Christ says, ‘Call me not good.’
Forgiveness is a stream of love, which washes away all impurities wherever it flows. By keeping this spring of love, which is in the heart running, we are able to forgive, however great the fault of our fellow beings may seem. One who cannot forgive closes the heart. The sign of spirituality is that there is nothing you cannot forgive, there is no fault you cannot forget. Do not think that those who have committed a fault yesterday must do the same today, for life is constantly teaching and it is possible in one moment a sinner may turn into a saint.
Commentary by Murshid S.A.M. (Sufi Ahmed Murad)
Samuel L. Lewis
That is to say, remove all remembrance of the act from the mind. The one who has done wrong does this best by a complete change of attitude, so great a change that the mind will not again succumb to a similar temptation, will not permit the ego to sway it in the wrong direction. Those who have been wronged should steel themselves against being wronged again. In the first stage, one completely erases all recollection from the mind or ceases to regard the deed as an evil one — especially if one has learned a living lesson through the experience. This prepares one for the higher condition which is not to be insulted, not be wronged or hurt by another. This shows real spiritual advancement on the part of a person, that he or she is not affected or harmed by the acts, thoughts, or words of another.