In order to learn forgiveness, we must first learn tolerance.
Hazrat Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan
Related Material by Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan
Compiled by Wahiduddin Richard Shelquist – wahiduddin.net
We need today the religion of tolerance. In daily life we cannot all meet on the same ground, being so different, having such different capacities, states of evolution, and tasks. So if we had no tolerance, no desire to forgive, we could never bring harmony into our soul; for to live in the world is not easy and every moment of the day demands a victory. If there is anything to learn, it is tolerance.
Tolerance is the first lesson of morals, and the next is forgiveness. A person who tolerates another through fear, through pride, from a sense of honor, or by the force of circumstances does not know tolerance. Tolerance is the control of the impulse of resistance by Will.
[ MUIZ COMMENTARY: A reminder that the common understanding of the nature and source of “will” and “willpower” is that it is a faculty or capacity of our minds, of thinking and mental concentration or effort — which is why there is so much frustration and self-criticism and even shame when we are unable to shift or change a pattern of behavior using this mental version of “willpower”. This is only a surface and very limited understanding of the nature Will and Willpower and how they work. These are innate faculties and capacities of the Soul, and they arise into our awareness through the Heart first, before reaching the Mind. As such they are much more akin to feeling than thinking. In fact all of the forces which powerfully motivate us (motivations), and impel us (impulses), and move us (e-motions), from deep within our beings, towards this or that goal or away from this situation or that circumstance, are “verbs” (directly connected to acting and moving and achieving) rather than “nouns” (connected rather to our internal mental processes of naming, describing, evaluating, comparing, thinking about, and understanding from the analysis of all of the parts).
Rudolph Steiner said “Thought is dead.” in the sense that it is abstracted away the body into our concrete mental sphere, separated from moving, acting, and doing, into a realm where we think about moving, acting, and doing. As it so often stays in this abstracted realm and doesn’t become embodied and converted into action, thought is dead, and of little use, in that sense.
And Mushid SAM says, over and over again in his writings, that thinking about loving is not the same as loving; thinking about compassion and kindness is not the same as expressing compassion and kindness; thinking about awakening is not the same as waking up.
Once Will and Willpower arise from within the depth of our Souls into the container of Heart, and then rise to the surface of Heart (ie into our Minds), we are able to direct and focus these forces towards this goal or that intention with our mental faculty and capacity of Discrimination. but unless our intentions are fueled by the power from Heart, fueled by actual Will and Willpower, our mere mental efforts will so often be in vain, because the situations and circumstances and behaviors we intend to change are themselves being fueled by Will and Willpower. ]
There is no virtue in tolerance which one practices because one is compelled by circumstances to tolerate, but tolerance is a consideration by which one overlooks the fault of another and gives no way in oneself to the impulse of resistance. Thoughtless people are naturally intolerant, but if thoughtful people are intolerant, it shows their weakness. They have thought, but have no self-control [ And effective self-control is Discrimination fueled by Willpower — Muiz ]. In the case of the thoughtless, they are not conscious of their fault, so it does not matter much to them, but thoughtful people are to be pitied if they cannot control themselves owing to the lack of Will.
The activities in the worldly life cause many disturbances, and it is a constant jarring effect upon a sensitive soul. If one does not develop tolerance in nature, one is always subject to constant disturbances in life. To wish to live in the world and to be annoyed with its activities is like wanting to live in the sea and be constantly resisting its waves. This life of the world, full of different activities constantly working, has much in it to be despised, if one has a tendency to despise. But at the same time there is much to admire if one turns one’s face from left to right. It is in our own power to choose the view of imperfection or the vision of perfection, and the difference is only looking down, or looking upwards. By a slight change of attitude in one’s outlook on life one can make the world into heaven or hell. The more one tolerates, the stronger one becomes in this way. It is the tolerant who are thoughtful. And as thought becomes greater, one becomes more tolerant. The words of Christ, ‘Resist not evil’, teach tolerance.
Tolerance is the sign of an evolved soul, for a soul shows the proof of its evolution in the degree of the tolerance it shows. The life in the lower creation shows the lack of tolerance. … As one evolves spiritually so a person seems to rise above this natural tendency of intolerance, for the reason that one begins to see, besides self and the second person, God; and one unites self with the other person in God. … But when a soul has evolved still more, tolerance becomes the natural thing. Because the highly evolved soul then begins to realize ‘Another person is not separate from me, but the other person is myself. The separation is on the surface of life, but in the depth of life I and the other person are one.’
Commentary by Murshid S.A.M. (Sufi Ahmed Murad)
Samuel L. Lewis
This is true whether one offers forgiveness or begs forgiveness. To offer forgiveness without having understanding is no real forgiveness, for it does not absolve another from the sin, and it does not free another from Karma. The real forgiveness — as exemplified in the lives of Christ and Mohammed — is to give something to the one who has gone astray, to impart life and love and lesson so that one will not err again. The average so-called forgiveness which does not deter another from erring again has no value.
Likewise, begging forgiveness is of no value unless there be repentance. If you are unwilling to repent, there is no gain and there may be a decided loss in begging pardon. Sufis have always placed considerable importance upon repentance, comparatively little upon forgiveness.