We should be careful to take away from ourselves any thorns that prick us in the personality of others.
Hazrat Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan
Related Material by Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan
Compiled by Wahiduddin Richard Shelquist – wahiduddin.net
We frequently say, ‘I dislike so and so’, or ‘I wish to avoid that person’, but if we examine this carefully, we find it is the same element in all that we dislike, the ego. And when we turn to ourselves to see if we have it in us, we find it is there too. We should forget it, therefore, in other people, and first turn our attention to crushing it within ourselves. We should determine to have our house clean even if other people neglect theirs. We should be careful to take away from ourselves any thorns that prick us in the personality of others. There is a verse in the Quran, which says, ‘Arise in the midst of the night, and commune with thy Lord… Bear patiently what others say.’ This is not only a command to rise in the night and pray, but it also means that by rising in the night we crush the ego, for the ego demands its rest and comfort, and when denied, is crushed. The mystics fast for the same reason. The Sufis base the whole of their teaching on the crushing of the ego which they term Nafs-kushi [ nafs: self, ego; kushi: literally starve, figuratively denial, privation — Muiz ], for therein lies all magnetism and power.
For every soul there are four stages to pass through in order to come to the culmination of the ego, which means to reach the stage of the rose. The first stage is that we are rough, thoughtless and inconsiderate. We are interested in what we want and in what we like; as such we are naturally blind to the needs and wants of others. In the second stage we are decent and good as long as our interests are concerned. As long as we can get our wish fulfilled we are pleasant and kind and good and harmonious; but if we cannot get our wish and cannot have our way, then we become rough and crude and change completely. And there is a third stage, when we are more concerned with another person’s wish and desire, and less with ourselves; when our whole heart is seeking for what we can do for another. In our thought the other person comes first and we come afterwards. That is the beginning of turning into the rose. It is only a rosebud, but then in the fourth stage this rosebud blooms in those who entirely forget themselves in doing kind deeds for others. In Sufi terms the crushing of the ego is called Nafs Kushi.
( from the Sufi Message Series, Volume VII – In an Eastern Rose Garden: Chapter 40 – Human Evolution )
Commentary by Murshid S.A.M. (Sufi Ahmed Murad)
Samuel L. Lewis
The heart contains all notes, so consequently it can harmonize with any other heart. When there is disharmony, it is a condition of the head, and no matter how justified that disharmony, still it is related to nufs. God in the Supreme Essence contains all goodness and badness or none; that is to say God is the Perfection of quality, never its extension, no matter how great the extension be. God is not multitudes, or largeness, but infinite, and this infinite qualification escapes comprehension of finite mind.
If the spiritual aspirant keeps the breath in Fikr, if the talib holds the heart in Ishk, it is impossible to be unfavorably affected by others. One is either united with all souls or not so united. This does not mean condescension to others. It means either change yourself to become harmonious to that person, or else — with all the force at your command — to drive the evil spirit out of the other and make them whole. The use of this power is not contrary to Ishk if it heals another.