The secret of a friend should be kept as one’s own secret; the fault of a friend one should hide as one’s own fault.
Hazrat Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan
Related Material by Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan
Compiled by Wahiduddin Richard Shelquist – wahiduddin.net
A very important thing in character-building is to become conscious of one’s relationship, obligation, and duty to each person in the world, and not to mix that link and connection which is established between oneself and another with a third person. One must consider that everything that is entrusted to one by any person in Life is one’s trust, and one must know that to prove true to the confidence of any person in the world is one’s sacred obligation. In this manner a harmonious connection is established with everyone; and it is this harmony which attunes the soul to the Infinite. …
Dharma in the language of the Hindus means religion, but the literal meaning of this word is duty. It suggests that one’s relation to every person in the world is one’s religion; and the more conscientiously one follows it, the more keen one proves in following one’s religion. To keep the secret of our friend, our acquaintance, even of someone with whom for a time one has been vexed, is the most sacred obligation. Those who thus realize their religion would never consider it right to tell another of any harm or hurt they have received from their friend. It is in this way that self-denial is learned; not always by fasting and retiring into the wilderness. … Those who know what the relation of friendship is between one soul and another, the tenderness of that connection, its delicacy, its beauty, and its sacredness, they can enjoy life in its fullness, for they are living; and in this manner they must some day communicate with God. For it is the same bridge that connects two souls in the world, which, once built, becomes the path to God.
A friend, in the true sense of the word, is nearer and closer than our own family, relations, neighbors, nation, and race. The secret of the friend should be kept as our own secret: the fault of the friend one should hide as our own fault; the honor of the friend must be considered as our own honor; an enemy of the friend should be regarded as our enemy; a friend of the friend must be considered as our friend. One must not boast of friendship, but must practice it, for the claimants are so often false. In the despair of the friend, consolation must be given; in the poverty of the friend, support is necessary; in the shortcomings of the friend, overlooking is necessary; in the trouble of the friend, help should be given; with the joy of the friend, rejoicing is right.
Commentary by Murshid S.A.M. (Sufi Ahmed Murad)
Samuel L. Lewis
From the Sufi point of view friendship means a union, and at the very least this union should transcend the realm of mind and thought. Do not consider friend as friend, consider friend as self. This is the condition in Djabrut where lovers are as One Being. This is not to be confused with “soul-mate;” there is no “soul-mate” and all the members of the Spiritual Hierarchy form the Single Embodiment of One Master in a condition beyond Djabrut, called Lahut, which is inconceivable to mind.
Now the Truth is that all planes interpenetrate, and for the earth plane it means that all principles operate here now. That is to say, what is True above must be practiced below if we want to bring God-Wisdom to earth. So in considering friend as none other than self, the critical faculty is never used even though in that process one may also have to cease praising the friend. In other words, remove all thought and analysis from the scene. This leads to negation of mind, which helps to blot out the fault of another by never referring to it; this does not acquit another, but it helps to help them.